hello family,

i hope everyone had a good thanksgiving! from what it sounds like, that is definitely the case

dad, thank you for your email, im sorry that penn state lost but it sounds like they had a good year. that is sweet about TIAA creff and ayco, you will be getting paid for 2 jobs for a few weeks, haha. im glad to hear that the outhouse and thanksgiving were overall a success, i wish i would have been there too, but only one more thanksgiving until iim home!

mom, it is true that i am doing well when it comes to staying warm, in fact it is too warm here, i cannot escape it! but all is well with food too, brazilian missionaries literally will steal everything, but i bought locks for my suitcases and keep everything guarded. in truth i didnt do anything special for thanksgiving, it made me very sad during the whole day because of that, but i hear that christmas is way worse, at least i will be able to call!!!! im sorry to hear about boo and a porcupine, i hope that she learns from it though, and doesnt go at the next porcupine she sees. teaching always teches the student and the teacher together, so i am glad to hear that you are learning as well! i got your package this week with the scriptures and cookie mix in it!!! i will make it a few weeks into the future, but i will explain why later. thank you so much fo the package, i loved everything. i will give the bookmarks to people, i am using some myself as well, and everything else will be so handy, so thank you very very much!

now time for what happened this week, well this week has been crazy to say the least, mostly whats happened the last 2 days, but i will go in chronilogical order, because i took notes for the email and michelles letter during the whole week! ok here we go

this week was the third of a year mark for me! already?!! only 5 more of this and my mission is done, it didnt seem like a ton with 3 months but 4 months is very close to half a year. exciting, right?! a third of a year wooo

well first of all i had the oppertunity to go to mcdonalds this past tuesday, i got a chicken sandwhich, and fries. why chicken sandwich, and not a burger since im nowhere near america? well i thought about it, but in america i always got the chicken anyways, i feel less gross afterwards. but it was good, basically tasted the same as in the sates.

i cut my own hair this past monday as well, i think i am going to make it a point to keep it nice and short from now on, it was raelly hard cutting ALL THAT HAIR, it was so long, seriously long to the point i could shake my head and it would fly around, but all is well now.

this week i really got around to seeing the more impoverished side of brazil, we worked in an area that we have never worked in before, and its abasically all slums, or favelas. it was sad to see people living so poorly, but all we can do as missionaries is help bring the gospel into peoples lives, it can make anyone happy, no matter what other circumstances!

ive started cutting up an apple every morning, putting it in a bowl with some delicious granola and milk. also, for a dessert like treat one day, i got 2 pieces of bread, some peanut butter, and a bar of chocolate, and grilled it on the george forman grill. i know the ladder really isnt healthy at all, but the truth is i have been eating healthier, and also have been getting slowly and slowly more fancy with what i make, and so my food situation has been improving i would say

this week i had my first experience, with a mother beginning to and continuing breast feeding during a lesson, like it wasnt a big deal or anything. apparently this happens in brazil sometimes, and so as soon as i noticed it was all eye contact from there. it was awkward for me to be honest, but i hear that it will happen more during the mission, i will just always make eye contact

one thing that dad might find interesting here, much like the brazilian soccer team, everyone calls everyone by their first name in church. i really discovered this because our stake president was at out sacrament meeting this week, and they called him ´brother antonio´ and out bishop ´bishop junior´ and never by the last name! that is so like brazil, to call people by there first name like the soccer players.. brazilians

so now to the reason why my week has been crazy. before i really start, no harm has been done to me! so all is good. but earlier this week we have seen 2 guys who are inb 20s or 30s passing our house, and looking in and such all shady. now in our mission the past weeks there have been 2 counts of robbers braking into missionaries houses and literally stealing everything, cleaning everything out. so my companion was talking to a taxi driver friday night outside our house, and while doing so the 2 guys and 2 others passed by AGAIN, and this time elder de jesus heard them say that it will be easy to rob our house, because were missionaries, and all they need is a gun and we will give them anything, and that ´americans have money´ so we called our mission president saturday night after we got home, to tell him what we heard. and he told us to literally pack up everything we own in 15 minutes, we were going to live with the secetaries downtown. so he called 3 taxis for us, and we all scrambled and scrambled to pack up everything in just 15 minutes! ahh it was so stressful (all my stuff is fine) and then we started loading everything on the taxis. well i was standing my one when a car passed my really slow, and i saw a guy on his cell phone, looking at our house, and i heard him say ´they are leaving, they are leaving´ but he used the verb leaving like we were moving houses, not just leaving for the day. so he was totally in on it, and we dont know but he could have been scoping the house out one last time before they would have gone in that night! so it was a scary experience, but we all made it safe and sound to the house of the secretaries

i remember feeling some random urge to start putting my clothes in my suitcases, earlier that night. i was taking my dry clothes off the line from that day, and i just had this urge to not put them in the dresser, but start packing. so i did, haha, and literally 10 minutes later was president saying to pack everything up and leave! and other missionaries had other little feelings or promptings during that night, and we were truly delivered by the lord. it was a crazy experience, but to know that the spirit is 100 percent in my life is something that comforts me alot.

so now for the aftermath, there are 8 of us living in the apartment of the secretaries downtown, and we have to pay for the bus to leave for our area and to return as well, whenever we go to work in our area. we are going to waste so much money! we dont know yet, but the mission president has 3 options from here on out; find a new house (most likely), emergency transfer us to other areas for a while (less likely) or close the area completely (2nd most likely). so we will see what happens! i think that we are going to just get a new house, in an apartment building thats tall and everything, because those always have aprking lots, and walls with barbed wire, and are 100 percent safe

also, i think i wont have a p day today because sister tavares just called and saif that we have to go to the house and literally clean everything! and there are tons and tons of weeds in the section of the backyard, and she said that we have to make it so that it is just dirt. i am mainly concerned with writing michelle a letter this week, i think that i will have time to do it back at the house, but this work will take up a couple of hours :/ not exactly what i want to be doing on my p-day. and also not exactly how i wanted my thanksgivng to happen!

but overall the good news is that we are protected by the lord and safe, and that is really what matters. thank you all once again for the packages! i treasure them so much, and i will make those cookies one day when we actually have a real house. i heard that if we get a real house it will take about a week a week and a half, but who knows, we will see!

oh one other thing, our ward had 23 investigators at church this past week! it was packed, and was awesome to see. we have plenty of people that are progressing, and that is what is most important, building a relationship with out heavenly father.

i have to go now, i love you all so much! i think about who i want to see in heaven, and its the people that get this email. i will keep everyone in my prayers and thoughts always, and will do my absolute best to be the best servant of the lord i can be. i love you all so much, until next week, have a good week!

-elder zachary paul hoskin

ok family so here is the letter!

starting off with basically where i left off, my new companion is elder de jesus. and let me just say that he is an amazing companion, and missionary, it is unbelieveable how much i have learned from him in just this first week. he actually corrects me when i say something wrong, and already things that i was saying wrong i say right now subconsciously, its just amazing. our personalities get along really well, were actually very similar, and he likes to work like an iron bull, so we have just been slugging it out, and i love it!

he is half black, which just makes him all that much more sweet, and he is from the capital, brazilia. he has been a member for 2 years, and was baptized in 4 days, the missionaries taught him on a wednesday, he recieved an answer from god the next day, and was baptized that sunday, before he had even been to church. he is an amazing teacher, and is teaching me a ton. he worked in a butcher shop for 2 years, so he knows how to cut any meat like a champ. it has been really good with him!

one of his biggest things, that was also something that i wanted to do that i can do now, is we are really focusing on working with the ward. we are going to buy a big map, and pins, and mark all of our references, investigators, and members in our area to help work with all three, and this will make our work much more efficient.

because of transfers, we literally have 10 missinaries on our house this week from monday to friday, it was crazy! i locked all of my stuff in my suitcases, and it was always crowded and nuts, but dont worry michelle because i still wrote just as much erre day, and will be sending it tomorrow!

i got to watch the restoration movie (in portuguese :/) the other day because we were watching it with an investigator, it really made me miss america but at the same time was also nice to see america, so i really enjoyed it.

turns our president has said that we can use the hour for dinner that they dont use here in brazil to take a break during the day if we want to. so me and elder de jesus on really hot days take about a 15 minute brake at a little ice cream shop, where a 2 scoop cone is only 1.5 reals, about a dollar, and that little break really does wonders for the whole day. its just been really efficient and great this week to be honest.

one of the americans who stayed at our house when there was 10 of us thought i was brazilian for an entire day before i spoke to another american in english, what the heck!? i dont know why, he said just because he thought i looked brazilian, but i look exactly the same as usual, dont worry, i am still nice and white.

we had a baptism for this week, but it didnt work out for the worst reasons. isabela is 16, and has a great desire to be baptized. she lives with her mom and aunt, and her aunt on the day of the baptizm forbid her to be baptized. her aunt is a less active who smokes and all, and she literally destroyed the work of the lord. it was sad to see, but there wawss nothing else we can do

i hope everyone will have a great thanksgiving, we have so much to be thankful for this year. i am thankful for michelle, the love of my life! and my family, who are also an amazing support to me, and the oppertunity i have to be on a mission, and my new companion who is absolutely great. i just am so glad to be where i am right now, i have everything i will ever need for my entire life! the gospel, my family, and the woman i am going to be sealed for for eternity. i really am greatful for everything guys, i hope that i display it because i really feel it. and being here is hard, but that doesnt mean that it is wrong, this is where i am supposed to be, and while i have yet to actually think about coming home at all, i know that something like that would only be bad for every single one of us, so i dont even think about it

one thing that has been a big improvement for me this week has been in my prayers. going along with the sacrament story, my prayers have really improved this week, and they are helping me out alot in feeling better, and doing the lords work.

until next week, you guys are all in my heart, thoughts, prayers, everything! until next week family, michelle :) i love you!!!

elder zachary paul hoskin

dear family, let me start off by saying that i am sorry!!!!

there was a problem with the computer that i was at last week, and it wouldnt send the email via internet, but i still typed it up and saved it as a draft, and just send it before this one, so i hope that that makes it ok. im really sorry for the mix up, everything is fine with me, just a crappy LAN house that i will never go to again, i am here in my favorite spot, a lan house near the brazilian version of wal mart, called MUFFALTO. WOO!

anyways family,

thank you grandma and grandpa for the email first off. i am very happy to hear snake river is the state champions, i need to get me a snake river t shirt, and become a fan of the team of my family! im glad to hear that everything is going well, thanksgiving should be an exciting time for everyone, i am going to try and make myself have some sort of a thanksgiving this week, we will see what happens.

dad, thank you very much for the email. i am EXSTATIC to hear that you got the job at Tiaa creff! and can also heal up around the house. i dont know many details at all about this job, but i just feel good about it, so i am happy for you. i am also very pleased with how the devils and penn state and even oregon are doing. if they win the stanley cup while im gone, it will be hard to forgive them. same goes for sucess for penn state and oregon. but the mission requires sacrafices, so all is well, my dream of a 2 year lockout so that i wouldnt miss anything has come and gone. i will keep praying for your arm, and for everyone, i think its going to be nice to have you home around all the holiday times, i can only imagine how nice and cold it is there, with some nice turkey... well ribs for ben, but all the same for me, things i will need once im back! thank you for the email dad, i will keep you in my prayers

well to start off i will start with the bitter news this week. this week was a bit of a ´hard pill to swallow´ week, for two reasons, two rules that are now in my missionary life that have been difficult to accept, but i know are the lords will, so i have been trying my best to accept with and make the best of. the first one is the hardest for me. well i would write michelle everyday during my free time at night and in the morning, and i was approached my a zone leader in my house who said that that might be agaist the rules, since it is writing here even though its really just a journal. so he said he would ask the mission president the next day to clear it up. well he talked to him, then president talked to me, and i am not allowed to write like that anymore to michelle. this is extremely hard for me, because i want to write her every day, and it doesnt affect a second of my missionary schedule, but i will only be able to write one big letter on p-day now. this week has been hard for me accepting it, i literally sit there and am not doing anything, but i cant write her, it was near torture. but i have been praying for the comfort that it is the will of the lord for my mission for me to imply that rule, and i have felt better since. i know even tough its hard i will still send you a letter every week michelle, about everything i did, i will just write it on monday. and it will likely be shorter, but i will do the best i can, we just need to keep putting our trust in the lord, and it will all be fine. so that is the first one that has been a big depressing change for me this week. but the letters will keep coming, and all will be well! i promise, i love you m!

the second rule is a new rule for the whole of brazil. normally, if there is only a woman in the house, we can teach her outside on the property, because normally brazilians have a gated property with chairs outside and such. but now there is a rule that we cannot be on the property of any house that only has women, or male or female under the age of eighteen. a man has to be there for all occasions, we cant even teach on the property anymore. this will literally drop the baptisms, lessons, all of the ´numbers´ and really success that brazil has, it already is showing with us. we passed by literally 27 houses yesterday, and only 2 had a man in the house and recieved us to teach. its a hard rule to follow, but it is a necessary rule for some reason, thats why its there, same for all the rules, so i will follow them and hope that everything ends up ok.

the brazilians in my apartment looked at my family pictures the other day, and told me that my family, mainly my parents, look like they could be brazilian. haha! what the heck? i dont know where that came from, but i thought you would appreciate it

its been really cold here some mornings, and i have been loving it. i truly am missing the holiday feel right now, and anything to make it feel more like the holidays the better!

my companion told me to teach him some of the commandments in english the other day, in order to help him learn english, as i started, i was literally having serious trouble saying complete, gramatically correct sentances. it made me sad, and also scared the crap out of me. i literally hadnt talked outside of casual conversation in this email for a long time, and i was having so much trouble that i stopped completely, and didnt teach anymore in english, i need to keep emailing, to write the love of my life, to be able to keep my english

i had a bar of chocolate here that had toasted coconut in it, i dont know if they have this back home, but everything here has coconut in it (which i love) and that chocolate bar was really good, so if they have it in america look for it, because i was tasty! speaking of which, i had another fast this week, i fasted for help with these new rules that have come to pass. it was a really good fast, specifically because i literally had revelation about them, to help me cope, in the scriptures. its a scripture that i came accross that i like alot, michelle it will be in the letter you get for this week!

i got to do some service this week! a sister in my ward needed a big bench whitewashed, and so while my companion did nothing because he cant paint, i got to paint the whole thing. it was SO NICE. i have always realy liked doing things with my hands, fixing things, making things, painting things like now, just howard roark capitalism, making things out of my own capacity. so it was really almost therapudic, and also looked really nice afterwards haha

im sorry that i used the card somewhat this week, our bi weekley money that we usually get just didnt go through last week, so no one had anything and i had so use the card a little, but all is well now so good for that. also, my hair is extremely long, like fro long, and i need to cut it, so i am going to use the card one more time to buy a hair cutting maching today so that i can just do it myself during my whole mission. that will come in handy!

i found a little gold mine two days ago, i found a stack of enlgish ensigns in our house! i read the april one from 2010, all about the atonement of jesus christ, and it made my sabbath day so much better, i will continue to read them and be edified because ensign is really a great resource

guess what i got my hands on this week?! two things; first, a brazil soccer jersey! for our team, called the corintians, their emblem has two oars very similar to that of MTL crew, and they are black white and red. also, i got a hammock! the one in the picture that i was in the other week of me in a hammock, that exact one, because the missionary left it for me who got transferred somewhere else. i will keep it and bring it home, my first brazilian things to bring home to america! ps dad, i will get you some jerseys, i was going to surprise you but someone very special to me has got me in the habit of not caring about surprises ;)

so me and my companion are doing really well. we get alot really well, like good friends. he listens to the same music i do, like 30 seconds to mars, even oldies like journey and such, so we just sing while we walk and it keeps me happy. being more tight than other companions i have been with has also improved our teaching, i am learning a ton from him, about portuguese and teaching alike. i have this stack of flash cards that i bring with me and study like a little dork as we walk as well, and that is really nifty because i can just turn them over, and he can learn the same words in portuguese.

i hope that everyone has a great thanksgiving, being with family. enjoy it! because i cannot, and i really wish that i was with michelle, my family, everyone, just together and happy. but i will be with you guys some day. so EVERYONE give EVERYONE an i love you for me, maybe a hug, or just a happy thanksgiving, and lets keep praying for eachother! i love you all, until next week!


Elder Zachary Paul Hoskin

Family! This letter is going to be awesome, ive read all of yours and you guys had such great news and such! so i will respond to that soon. Also i have great news and experiences to share, so this is going to be a happy letter!

First of all im going to start off by saying, thank you for the emails and letter! i appreciate them so much, they make my week great, so thank you!

Grandma and grandpa, thank you for your email. it was uplifting, and i am glad to be able to continue to be kept up to speed in your lives. happy birthday! i didnt know beforehand, but i am happy for you! Go Snake River!

Dad, thank you for your email very much. im nowhere near the sons of mosiah, but i am the son of Robert hoskin! and i use you and them as examples daily. to answer your question, i am doing much better than previous weeks, because hands down this was the best week of my mission, when it comes to missionary work and growing as a missionary. im sorry to hear that your surgery had been painful, i have been praying for you every prayer, and also included you in my fast this week, so i hope that helps because thats all i can really do from here. thank you for sharing that missionary experience for me, it has been tough but i am working it out. also, ive been pretty uptight the first couple of weeks as a missionary when it comes to my personality, but this week i have found the balance to loosen up and be myself, while still being a missionary, and i see the difference in my happiness during the day, and the relationships and success that i have with my companion, other missionaries, investigators and members alike, so that is improving! Thank you for the inspiring words about money, i always feel bad using money in that account, but i promise you i will use it as you have directed, and feeling bad will help me use it more wisely. and its true, i will never waste it on anything, in fact i dont have oppertunities to really waste it, but i will be wise with it. Father, thank you so much for being able to be in a position where money is not a huge scare for us, it really helps to know that if i am hungry, i can buy stuff, and its all because of your hard work. i really appreciate it! The devils need to step it up, i think that we need to figure out how we can help. but im sure they will turn it around... and the penguins.. i dont know what to say about them. im sorry joseph and alayna arent coming out for christmas, i got the impression this week that i should start emailing joseph and alayna personally, just to keep in touch with my brother, so i am going to do that. joseph, were going to email every week!

Ok now to my week, well the first thing i want to talk about is the good news that i have today, and that is... I GOT MY FIRST BAPTISM!!!!! wooo! i baptized João (Name removed for good reasons.) on november 5th, 2011, my first baptism. and for those whove seen v for vendetta, remember remember, the 5th of november. ok so anyways, i had made a calendar for john with a scripture each day to help him continue to overcome his drug addiction. and president tavares had known about john because we had to call him to know when we could reschedule his baptism. so president called me during this past week and asked what we were doing to help him, and the progress and stuff, and he said that he felt like since john was fulfilling all of his commitments we could baptize him ´in any moment´ so we had the baptismal service saturday night! and his family was there, and they all told us that they could see the change in his life, and i think were going to baptize them too! its all good with John, im so happy to be able to get my first! now i dont have to worry about numbers, and i can just focus on being the best missionary i can be.

For other news, my training is over after only half the time. Today is the day that everyone finds out if theyre being transfered, because transfers are today, and my companion is being transfered out of here to another area, and i am no longer a trainee, just a junior companion. CRAZY! i dont know why it happpened, because i need to be trained for 12 weeks, but now theres no excuses for anything, i am a missionary just like everyone else, not being trained. wel this is exciting! my new companions name is elder de jesus, or of jesus, haha i dont know about these names! but he´s going to be the district leader, and i am his right handy man. but my companion doesnt know what happened. anyways, new companion tomorrow, how crazy!

now to explain the pictures really quickly. one is me, 2 p-days ago, relaxing in a hammock of another missionary, looking through my photo album of michelle and me. another is my face, super excited for baptism! and another is me, my companion, john, and his dad at the chapel for the baptism. the other is of my old district, which i dont even know why i put the picture up now because its all being changed, but i hope you like the pictures! the one of the hammock can be in my plaque at the 5th ward chapel hahah.

ok so this email has been all over the place, now i will email about the things that i had noted chronilogically.

there are am/pm´s here! its wierd because everything literally gas is brazilian, but somehow they have convenience stores here the same. i wonder if ill ever see a 711..

i had a division again with my old district leader, elder bennett, and it was amazing. first of all, we had lunch at a gourmet self serve place, and it was once again the best meal that ive had in brazil, better than the all you can eat bbq from the week before. i learned alot from elder bennett once again, its great being with american missionaries sometimes. but we had a miracle! here it goes. we were trying to find the house of a reference we had written down, and so we knocked on the door of a house near the area to ask for directions. well we got to talking with the father, and we asked to share a message. turns out, the spirit had put us there in that exact day, in that exact moment. he (renaldo) had been in portugal for the last year, and had just returned the day before. he had taken all the lessons with the missionaries, and we during the lesson learned that he had been going to church for 2 months! and had a testimony of the book of mormon, and had been looking for an LDS church here, and couldnt find one. and he wanted to be baptized, but ran out of time in portugal. so its not in my area, but they are going to baptize him next sunday, it was truly the spirit that lead us there because he was truly prepared to recieve us haha. and also another big thing happened. there was a guy sitting in front of his house smoking cigarettes that we started talking to, and during the restoration lesson that we were teaching him on the street we all felt the spirit, and he was totally fired up, so we asked if we could literally take his cigarettes and throw them away for him, and he was like yes! i am going to quit. and so apparently elder bennett and his companion returned the next day, and elder bennett said it was one of the most powerful spiritually experiences he has had in his entire mission, and that he knows that man and his entire family are going to be baptized. so it was a transfer with alot of spirit, and i was very much grateful for it!

Just a side note, dad your nametag that i brought with me now sits all nifty on my desk where i can see it everyday, when i said earlier that i look to you as an example i meant it! haha :)

so i was sort of pouting over the fact that i wont have any sort of thanksgiving, and i came across this scripture during my personal study. 2 nephi 8:3 literally talks about how i can have thanksgiving in any place, so that i just what i am going to do! try my best to make it feel like thanksgiving is here.

I also had the oppertunity to have a division with another missionary this week, one elder Thiago. it wasnt a big one because he is an assistant to the president and we live in the same house, so we just spent the whole day working with eachother, then returned to our companions. i dont think i will ever have an oppertunity to work with a missionary with as much experience as he has, seeing has how he is done with his mission and is going home the day after tomorrow. ive really looked up to him during my time here, and with him we taught alot of great lessons, so i was glad for the experience. he has been giving away some of his stuff since he is leaving, and while he hasnt started that much i have aquired a really nifty bright gray v neck sweater here! i will get a picture of me in it because i want michelle to see :)

things have been really crazy here, and will only get more crazy because of these transfers, i literally found out i was getting a new companion as i was typing this! and now my companion is not going to buy groceries since he is leaving, and its just going to be a big mix up! elder teuscher, my zone leader is being transfered, and i liked him alot, he was always someone i could talk to since hes an american and all, but that is okay because i still have an elder pope, who is crazy at night but is growing on me.

i have to go now, things are crazy because of the transfer, but i hope you like this email! i love you all so much, and am grateful always, i say thanks for every one of you in every prayer this week, it was a good experience. and i will continue! please lets keep eachother in our prayers, and until next week, i love you guys!!!

-Elder Zachary Paul Hoskin

Hey family,

I love you guys! Well this week has been interesting to say the least, mostly with my growth as a missionary, but i will respond to everyones messages first.

Joseph, thank you for the advice! i guess i will just have to deal with it, im not sure how else i can get music onto the ipod, but its not that big of a deal so thats ok. im glad to hear that you and alayna are doing ok. i never got your package :( there was a mail strike here in brazil towards the end of my time in the MTC, and i think that i just missed your package, and the MTC doesnt forward packages out to the field because of cost :( but thank you anyways brother!

mom, haha i like how you imagine me cramped in some internet cafe, because thats just exactly what its like, i am always the tallest person everywhere and its not usually that big of a deal, but ive hit my head off a couple of things, but all is ok. thank you for your words about how when you are down, you always think of other thimes that have been worse, and think ´that was worse´ im not going to lie to you, this time separated from michelle is going to be what i look back on in my life and say ´nothing is as hard as that was´ i dont even think that i comprehended what it really meant, when i knew that us waiting for eachother would be the hardest thing we will ever have to do in our entire lives.

how is dad´s surgery recovery? ive been concerned for him all this week, i hope that he is doing well. i am really happy to hear that you and abby are enjoying schooling, she will learn so much more! and not have to worry about other things that will be menial and not important in the future. thank you for the bit on integrity, i am grateful to be a son that you can be proud of, i hope that me being down and depressed doesnt dampen that, i am really trying my best out here. i think wade stinnet will be ok, i am having difficulties as well, everyone does who is american, but i hear that after the four or five month mark you get happier because you can not worry about the language, and can understand people. i had the worst lesson of my life yesterday, some guy was chain smoking and just asking us questions trying to destroy our religion while we were giving the message, and after 5 minutes i stopped talking because he couldnt understand me because he was drunk. after we left, i just sat on the curb with my head in my hands, and almost broke down. it was a low point, just nothing was going for me, people werent understanding me,

but we went to an investigators house with a member later who i like, his name is cleber i think i mentioned him before, and i went into the bathroom, kneeled down and just begged heavenly father to help me. especially since ive been separated from michelle i have had many, many prayers where i pour my soul out to him, but i dont think that i have ever in my life begged and pleaded with him for mercy in my life like i did last night, i just pleaded with him for everything to be ok, for me to improve as a missionary, for me to be happy, for me and michelle to always be in love and have us grow, and that i could get a letter from her today, that dad could be ok, that all my family could be moving along fine, i just poured it out. but i felt the spirit afterwards, the spirit of comfort, and it really helped me. i am still sort of bummed today, i dont quite know why, but i am better.

grandma and grandpa, thank you for the emails. people dont really celebrate halloween down here, they all know about it but no one is festive, or celebrating death like in mexico like you said. when it comes to a package, all i can really request is just candy, like starbursts or other goodies like that, anything that will make here feel more like home, or like america! thank you guys for keeping up with me, i love you

now onto my week, well this week started out great and ended medeoker (sp? ahh thats depressing that i forgot how to spell that word). i had a division wit another companionship on tuesday, with my favorite missionary and good friend now elder whelan. his companion, my district leader, came to my house and spent a day with elder espirito santo, and i with elder whelan in their area, quebec. well, let me just say honestly that i learned more in those 24 hours than in most of my time in the field so far, mostly because elder whelan speaks english, we literally help a 9 hour conversation because i havent been able to genuinenly talk with anyone here because of the language barrier, so it was great!

we started out going to a really fancy chuhaskeria, basically all you can eat bbq, waitors come by every minute with a different kind of meat and offer it to you. someone in the stake presidency took 6 of us missionaries. their area quebec is rich, as opposed to ouro branco which i have learned is a poor area, but still good, but anyways that meal was the best meal ive had in brazil! filet mingon wrapped in bacon, lots of fine meats, and im not usually a meat person. also, i ate wild ram, i thought that was pretty cool. then we went tracting in the rain, which i didnt even care about because i had an umbrella and someone to talk to and not feel so alone all the time.

i learned alot of things, that i will share most of them that i possibly can with you now. this is from elder whelan, and the 4 other missionaries who i spent 2 hours at lunch with, who have all been to different areas in the mission and had different companions and such. first of all, i learned that the house im living in is one of the worst quality in our mission, and the only 6 person! hahah i dont hate it, but i was in the house of quebec, which only has 2 missinaries in it, and it was awesome, just a tiny little apartment thats easy to keep tidy because theres only you and your companion.

i also learned that while im getting discouraged about not baptizing right now, that right now is the time for me to grow. i have a quote that i´d like to share that means a ton to me right now, and will throughout my whole mission ´there is a time to harvest, and there is a time to grow´ right now i am growing, and i am not worrying about getting a baptism, only helping the people im teaching as much as possible, and if that leads to their baptism then great

this week i have been really hungry. 3 of our lunch appointments with members didnt work out, and so we had to eat in the house, but i ran out of money on tuesday because i bought groceries on monday, so it was a struggle. i had to use the PNC card once or twice, both under ten dollars, what is my balance on that? also, with the division and interviews for baptisms that i also went on divisions for, the whole bus thing is really started to take a toll on my money, i dont think i have it bad but it still makes it hard! but now i have money again, and food, and our calendar for meals has been all square and settled with the ward

i learned that alot of these problems i didnt see before my division were literally being kept from me because i am a new missionary, and they dont want me to get too discouraged.. but my ward has alot of problems. only 45 people showed up for church yesterday, and during the final talk two 16 year olds started screaming at eachother and got into a fist fight! it was so intense. and the ward doesnt really like helping missionaries, which is extremely peculiar here because usually wards love missionaries, like when i was on my division, we were setting up a baptism and everyone tried to feed us, and do things for us, and said if theres anything we need, theyre just so nice! but i think that we can help our ward by trying to include people in missionary work more. we brought a member named junior, who is married and never went on a mission, and he has a great desire to help in the work because of that. well we taught 3 lessons with him yesterday (they were all after that experience i had previously said) and they went well, and he was a great help, and i was glad to have him there! i think that using members will be a good thing for the ward, and also a good thing for our investigators. but church was semi bad yesterday, our investigators actually stayed but the other missionaries had 5 people just get up and walk out during sacrament meeting because they didnt like it! i dont know whats going on here, but all the people in our house like the zone leaders and assistants are concerned for our ward.

i heard the song ´its just another manic monday´ in a store the other day, it made me so happy because it was in enlgish, and i remember that song from childhood, i just stood there with my eyes closed and just listened to home, that may sound pitiful but i needed it very much.

this past week was my quarter of a year mark out here! im extremely sure the next 1/4 of a year and so on are going to go by much more quickly than the first, its all about getting into a routine, and not being in the MTC. also, i am going to make the absolute most of these 7 weeks i have left with here in this area with my trainer, but i am very excited to also see what the lord has in store for me next.

theres a food here called pao e quejo, or bread and cheese, its basically a really simple brazilian recipe for cheesey bread, that is made in little morsels about as big as your palm, and i love it! theyre only 50 cents at bakerys, so i dont spend much money, and they are delicious, i even got a recipe from elder whelan for them. it has begun. i have started to collect brazilian recipes to bring home and cook for my family, and then for michelle, as a married couple! right now i have dessert pizza, pao e quejo, and these things called paçocas (pessocas) which are basically the closest thing here to peanut butter, its like a little dessert bar of peanuty goodness, and is real simple to make, so i will continue to collect! and begin to ask members for recipes, because apparently members like giving recipes because they feel like their recipe is the best then, and that it will be in america someday hahaha.

two days ago it rained so hard, and we were stuck in it without umbrellas again! i am literally never trusting my companion when he says we wont need them. but anyways, i was sick of being wet, so i pulled out my instincts from childhood. i spotted a big cardboard box that had been broken down and on the sidewalk for trash people, and the most dense tree i could find, and we literally held the box over our heads for an impromptu shelter for 20 to 25 minutes when it calmed down significantly. i was so lucky to have that box, because we still had 4 hours left in our day and i did not want to be soaked the whole day. but now, i keep everything in my backpack in plastic bags as well, to waterproof it because you never really know when its going to rain here.

i got the families package last week! thank you so much, i thought it was going to take longer to get here but it got here in 10 days! everything everyone said here about 3 months to get one is a lie, maybe when im out of londrina in an area and have to wait a few weeks to someone to bring the package to me, since right now im here as soon as they get them. but thank you! i am spreading the jam so thin to prolong it as long as possible, and i am saving the socks and deoderant for when all mine are trashed. thank you for the candy! that is how i will be celebrating halloween today, thank you once again for it, adn im excited to get michelles soon! and this next one that your sending, and everything!

Happy halloween!! i hope everyone is having a good one. they dont do anything for it here, which makes me sad, but im going to make it a good day for myself. eat some candy, buy some candy, and write michelle for p day, thats the plan on how to celebrate! and that will be just about how i celebrate every special day from now on, just write michelle and indulge in some sweets.

so this week has been hard for me because im understanding more, and with that i am capable of doing more. but i am having some problems with my companion, to speak in plainness he is treating me like a child, always, yes im a new missionary but i am also the same age as him, and know plenty. also, he tells me how he wants to train me well enough so that i can be a trainer as soon as he is done with me, and i can tell that he doesnt actually want to help me, he just wants to seem like a sweet missionary by me turning out good. but i dont want to complain too much, im trying my best to love him. like michelle told me to do, i am serving him, and i think its going to be ok.

i will continue to keep all of you in my prayers, please keep me because i need you guys. i love you!

-elder zachary paul hoskin